February 17, 2002

if you could see my face the smile would fail to shine

too great is the misery currently etching

too many are failing me that should not

the pain I am asked to forgive happens even now

and I cannot see the strength to do it

the tears still flow too freely

unlike Christ I cannot forgive at the point of death

Who, as nails held Him fast as His life drained away,

               forgave

showing mercy even as He died at their hands

Written after church, one week after Mac's death.

A hundred people walked past me, ushering at the door,

only one remarked upon our grief and offered understanding.

I don't quite know what I expected,

but I know it wasn't this.