September 3, 1988

I’m sick to death of covering up

I want to rant and rave

I am mad

angry at the world

how could it be so wrong

on my last night at home

Mom

Dad

I’m sorry I wasn’t there

you’ll miss me

after I go

yet all I do

is stay away

Beth

I love you

as I have told you

tonight

I needed you

like never before

to talk to

to be with

to soothe my fragile soul

I busted tonight

the sadness of leaving is real

much more than I can take

I needed to tell you

to open up with someone

shove aside my brave

but put-on face

but after the party

we’re watching videos

with friends

I had no idea how

to take you away from that

though the desire was strong

I needed you

I couldn’t begin to reach you

so now I write

and pray

hard

for I am miserable

and I know not what to do

I love you

I need you

always

My friends

forgive me

if I didn’t dance around

the evening was all wrong

but nothing would have been right

no matter what

I had too much on my mind

to enjoy it at all

I am too selfish

to enjoy it your way

thank you for your care

and for your love

forgive me

After the “All Purpose Party” of tonight when it

finally hit that I was leaving & and a misunderstanding.