October 8, 2004

The Long Dark Night of Peter Rhebergen

"I'm forgiven, because You were forsaken

I'm accepted, You were condemned

I'm alive and well, Your Spirit is within me

Because You died and rose again

Amazing love, how can it be

That You my King would die for me?"

pride

goeth before the fall

in the evening

the mirror showing a man of God

resolute and strong

able to overcome

stalwart

in the morning

nothing but reality

no more than a man

who resisted temptation

once less than he needed to

in the night

a struggle between

creature and Creator

flesh and spirit

sleepless hours

earnest prayer

excuses

failure

regret

and questions

"Have I fallen off of the path,

or just fallen on the grace of God?"

"Do I remain deserving of God?"

"Does God still love this man?

and answers

"Even David fell and got up again

unswerving in his love for God."

"I didn't deserve God in the beginning

when He took me out of death."

"YES!"

the Bible tells me so

and repentance

it is not God's fault, He has not failed

it is mine, I am weak and needful of

forgiveness, that is God's and out of my hands

except to accept it

over again

as I need it each moment anew

(I need Thee every hour!)

forgetting once again

(assuming self-sufficiency)

I am nothing if I am not in Christ

If we say that we have no sin,

we deceive ourselves,

and the truth is not in us.

If we confess our sins,

He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins

and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

After a time of struggle and failure

and the realization of God's mercy.

Scripture from 1 John 1:8-9

Quote beneath title from

"You Are My King"

by Billy James Foote

The title and idea are very loose echoes

of the fifth season Babylon 5 episode

"The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari"