November 1985
screaming through a world
careening on and off
uncertainty
too familiar a friend
so much potential
wasted
so much life
gone
the winds all howl and burn
blowing who knows where
still leaving where I am
sunlit portals some without
could all roads lead to Rome?
or heaven even
virtues taken
choices made
black cloud blue sky
rainy day or what
there
but for the grace of God
go I
or
but for the Devil
I could be there
hindsight blinding foresight
shadow voices passing wisdom
unheard
ghost like in the roar
tossed aside
so casually by the wind
alone
I tremble
I cringe
at the edge of abyss
dare I take flight
and even so
could these wings soar
against that roaring wind
the wrack of other things
I know not what
they were
clutter at my troubled heart
these ruins
what of them
did they wait too long
or take the leap too soon
but what!
who cares
I am me and I still live
and while these limbs
possessed of life are mine
I fight
I dream
of what
or when
or how or who
and I
towering castles fortress solid
blown away as smoke in fall
that stormy autumn blast
no holds barred
it lives
replaced by others equally bold
to the task at hand
equally mute
before the force without
before my feet abyss gives way
too soon I must take my dive
following those to whom belonged
these bones now dead as dust
shall I prove equal
or come up less than whole
sudden gale
a cyclone plays my hand
blowing where it cares
this will now made of straw
dust before the wind
still blows
where is the sun
that once I loved
dares it shine
where night is hailed utmost
where will it end?
a small and naked man
humbled to his core
or
a bitter callous shell
proud to quell the storm
the eye draws near
but will I prove unworthy
or prove that I am still quite strong
tumults clash
within without
the leap draws nearer
will I be bird
or dust?
I think I must have been heavily influenced here by
Roger Hodgson's album "Eye of the Storm," which
is one of very negative spirit. I don't usually feel this way