October 14-16, 2022

Hope(less?)

the doctors say there is no hope

their words are overwhelming

"he will die"

Jesus said to never stop praying

“even small faith will move mountains”

He told us

and there lies my conundrum

God gives the doctors their wisdom

I can trust them

I do

God makes and maintains all that is

I can trust Him

I do

on the one side

God’s gifts

on the other side

God’s power

in between the sides

me

desperately wondering how to pray

On October 3rd my uncle went to the hospital for a 'routine' operation on a heart valve. He had a stroke during the operation and it did not go as expected. For the last eleven days we waited, we hoped, we prayed, we begged God for a miracle even as the doctors told us there was no hope.

Conflicted, I wrote this poem this morning. This afternoon, at 2:03, he died.

I am a man with a deep and abiding faith in God, that has not changed. But today I am once again reminded that God doesn't give me everything I ask for, even though Jesus told us that even our smallest grain of faith could move mountains. And today I am once again staggered by the apparent difference between what Jesus said and what God will do.