April 22-23, 2014

I am confounded and I scream

my “God!” at the sky, longing

the answer I’ve never heard, my

vision so obscured by the real

the Really Real is but poorly seen

and when I think I have known

have really seen the wild beyond

am befuddled, am confounded

by voices once so truly trusted

weeping alone beneath a silent sky

I long to know if I misbelieve

and if I do, having been misled

what then can I know is true

yet is hope despite my tears

though I send my “God!” aloft to

skies both silent and solid I cannot

do else but make this cry to God

believing else would be my death

There are days when I wonder

if what I’ve always believed is true

Today was one of those days.

Lying in bed at night

Afraid

Uncertain of truth

Uncertain of base reality

All I can do is stare at the ceiling and ask

whether what I know is what is true

And explore the options

Just in case

But that is where I can go no further

My cry for wisdom is always to my God

Regardless all my doubt

I doubt Him infinitely less than I doubt any alternative

In Him alone is all my hope