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February 7, 2000


I begrudge them Lord, these men

who doing what I would never

attain the place that I had hoped

I begrudge them their voiced regret

conveniently found after the events

have transpired that placed them

displacing me, regardless your will

I begrudge them for they are where

I would and was and can no longer be

I begrudge them and I wonder

how you could use hands as these

to accomplish your perfect will


and pray your forgiveness

for thoughts as dark as these


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