June 1986

Late at night and I come home

lights on in the bedrooms

only the sound of the drip tap

greets me as I walk in.

Upstairs in my bedroom

nearly ready to sleep

Mom ambles over to ask:

“How was the wedding?”

“Fine,” I say, “just fine.”

Biting back the tears

that could come or not at all

“It’s a lie!”  I want to scream

but no, I stand and smile

and say  that “I’m okay.”

Most times I am

my life alone is okay

I have my friends I love

for them I’d gladly live

But what happens when

my last friend is wed

and I’m alone

will I still smile

and bite back tears?

Will there be laughter

Will there be pain

Will there be someone else