June 1985

Lord, I’m confused

I’ve nothing to gripe at

yet I sulk

and pout

and frown

and treat my friends like dirt

and I know I’m wrong

making my sin all the worse

I pray for deliverance

maybe

a lightning bolt of joy

free from on high

and it doesn’t come

and I wait

and it still doesn’t come

and I feel alone

and every slight

is intentional

is this some kind of test

that I’ve just failed

Lord

as this devil takes control

please help me to fight it

it’s not right to feel this way

in all honesty Lord

I’m not good enough

to say to them

what I have said

if I were

I wouldn’t want to

fill me with your perfect love

oh Lord

the hand I wish to bite