October 17, 2004

I don't want to smile

I don't feel like I should

after being surrounded by hypocrisy

selfishness and carelessness

and seeing the same in others

why should I smile?

what would be the point?

and then reluctant

surrounded by the saints

their music

and their God

I changed

what changed the early saints

changes me

Got to church this evening, absolutely

miserable. Emily and the "boys" were

playing in their usual style and I found

myself smiling in spite of myself.