October 17, 2004


I don't want to smile

I don't feel like I should

after being surrounded by hypocrisy

selfishness and carelessness

and seeing the same in others

why should I smile?

what would be the point?


and then reluctant

surrounded by the saints

their music

and their God

I changed


what changed the early saints

changes me



Got to church this evening, absolutely

miserable. Emily and the "boys" were

playing in their usual style and I found

myself smiling in spite of myself.


I Don't Want to Smile
A poem by Peter Rhebergen

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Each New Day A Miracle
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