March 16-17, 2026

Something, from 'Nothing'

For decades, physicists have theorized that the vacuum of space is not truly empty, but rather a restless sea of energy where 'virtual particles' flicker in and out of existence. Now, researchers at Brookhaven National Laboratory have provided the first direct evidence of this phenomenon. Using the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider, the team smashed protons together at nearly the speed of light. This extreme collision provided the raw energy necessary to 'spark' these fleeting quantum fluctuations, transforming them from invisible background noise into real, detectable matter.

but wait a sec

shouldn’t you be called out for cheating

if you were in a contest with God

to make the somethingest something

come to be in the nothingest nothing

and your nothing wasn’t really nothing

I mean really

creating a spectacular something

using tools that already are

using energy that already is

at a nothing that isn’t really

seems somehow a breach of the rules

that would be cheating

you didn’t start with nothing

you took as your foundation

matter and energy that already was

pointed it at a very flimsy something

and claimed “Matter! Out of nothing!”

seriously?!?

the absurdity of your assumption

it is mind-bogglingly arrogant

denies the very nature of your being

do you seriously believe that the beginning of everything

happened in to and out of the emptiness before the stars?

if you’re bound and bent to deny God like that

you’re gonna need WAY more turtles!

and four ginormous elephants!